I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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