You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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