I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
