im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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