Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
