Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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