I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
