Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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