weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
