is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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