Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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