I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
