The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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