JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
