Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize