As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
