yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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