508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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