Pappa wants mamma naked
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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