I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
