I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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