Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
