I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You made out with two different species that night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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