The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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