That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
