She is in my trunk
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
