I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
