that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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