he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we're making bets on your personal life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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