i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
