so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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