just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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