so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
