Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
