thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
