So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
