U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
