Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
