Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do herpes really smell.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
