I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
