i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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