My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
