it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
