Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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  (480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi
  Replies (35) Good night (913) Bad night (3559)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.

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  (281): Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/lbmt
  Replies (43) Good night (6594) Bad night (1118)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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  (608): State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/w7b2
  Replies (46) Good night (4270) Bad night (696)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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  (610): who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch? http://tfl.nu/432a
  Replies (38) Good night (4046) Bad night (1392)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.

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  (404): I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money. http://tfl.nu/7bbu
  Replies (11) Good night (2966) Bad night (1460)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.

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  (203): My vagina is depressed thinking about her future. http://tfl.nu/t288
  Replies (11) Good night (946) Bad night (2396)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?

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  (970): Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/hh36
  Replies (3) Good night (2403) Bad night (629)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.

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  (865): He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW. http://tfl.nu/b38y
  Replies (16) Good night (2842) Bad night (1145)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?

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  (602): This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette? http://tfl.nu/45gq
  Replies (17) Good night (1890) Bad night (1030)
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  (530): View more from California

  Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me

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  (530): Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me http://tfl.nu/x3r5
  Replies (0) Good night (1222) Bad night (400)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.

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  (780): I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/qn6g
  Replies (27) Good night (613) Bad night (3628)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"

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  (270): Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!" http://tfl.nu/cswu
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (324)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.

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  (402): It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night. http://tfl.nu/0jb0
  Replies (2) Good night (248) Bad night (507)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf

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  (740): It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf http://tfl.nu/nnzu
  Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (152)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.

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  (859): I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear. http://tfl.nu/a4jp
  Replies (5) Good night (152) Bad night (414)

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