There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
