Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes http://tfl.nu/5pzj
  Replies (7) Good night (688) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi
  Replies (12) Good night (2355) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service. http://tfl.nu/dlye
  Replies (89) Good night (11248) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

  (818): View more from California

  First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw
  Replies (41) Good night (7603) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that" http://tfl.nu/5p37
  Replies (8) Good night (1040) Bad night (4300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore. http://tfl.nu/pqxc
  Replies (31) Good night (1448) Bad night (4644) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache http://tfl.nu/jjc2
  Replies (14) Good night (1104) Bad night (3954) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called.. http://tfl.nu/0u89
  Replies (13) Good night (956) Bad night (3201) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already. http://tfl.nu/vv0a
  Replies (5) Good night (4812) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me. http://tfl.nu/7zz8
  Replies (5) Good night (1131) Bad night (2111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed http://tfl.nu/idar
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (2517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world? http://tfl.nu/2f1z
  Replies (7) Good night (1922) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face http://tfl.nu/pn9h
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well http://tfl.nu/giyd
  Replies (14) Good night (487) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON http://tfl.nu/rpwp
  Replies (7) Good night (1238) Bad night (211)

Randomize