Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her

  (716): View more from New York

  Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild

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  (716): So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go? (1-716): I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her (716): Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild http://tfl.nu/mosz
  Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (670)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1392) Bad night (496)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  You at least unplugged it right?

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  (540): I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought... (1-540): You at least unplugged it right? http://tfl.nu/cwvi
  Replies (37) Good night (1143) Bad night (3965)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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  (217): i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that. http://tfl.nu/jmlu
  Replies (43) Good night (1440) Bad night (2784)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..

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  (617): Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people.. http://tfl.nu/f1rc
  Replies (44) Good night (4341) Bad night (934)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.

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  (630): I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building. http://tfl.nu/xm6j
  Replies (12) Good night (9463) Bad night (1491)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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  (715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night. http://tfl.nu/2r4z
  Replies (6) Good night (4262) Bad night (797)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.

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  (603): Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case. http://tfl.nu/luz6
  Replies (18) Good night (1037) Bad night (2157)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.

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  (605): We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor. http://tfl.nu/zlq5
  Replies (3) Good night (2454) Bad night (650)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

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  (360): It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice. http://tfl.nu/ciw3
  Replies (5) Good night (2184) Bad night (639)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
  Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (424)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?

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  (515): I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life? http://tfl.nu/joka
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (183)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week

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  (703): The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week http://tfl.nu/myyh
  Replies (2) Good night (196) Bad night (671)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.

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  (610): The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it. http://tfl.nu/y85o
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (191)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

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  (361): I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time... http://tfl.nu/xkbo
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (178)

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