My friends, they love my intelligence
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Rumble strips road head = magical
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES