What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up