Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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