i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
