I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
