she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
