How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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