Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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