I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
