AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i love accidental penises.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
