My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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