So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
