You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
