i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
