The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
