I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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