I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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