My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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